Your children are your life and it is always important that you know exactly what is going on in their lives so that you can connect with them better. But before we ask them questions about their lives, it is important that you know why it is necessary to ask these questions.
They will not tell you what they are after and what is going on in their lives unless and until you yourself take an interest in it.
As a parent if you don’t put in the maximum effort and constantly work on your relationship with your children there is a strong chance that growing up they are not going to be close to you and hide things from you. Constantly asking them questions helps to keep the relationship healthy.
Childhood is a very complicated phase for both, the child and the parent, and so it is important that they remember good things about their childhood when they are adults. It is important that the memories that they have of you are not that of you ignoring them, or you refusing to listen to them or understand them.
As a parent your most important duty is going to be guiding them and in order to guide them you have to be a very good listener. And you need to know exactly what your child is going through to be able to guide them.
Some children are very quiet and shy which is why knowing what is going on in their lives becomes that much tougher. In these situations it is up to you to initiate a conversation and for that it is imperative that you ask the right questions to make them open up.
Sometimes, due to lack of communication at home children get a false sense that they can get away with anything and may get into wrong things which they will regret for the rest of their life. So, it is important they know that they will always be heard at home. So in order to build that kind of repo with them you have to constantly put in the effort.
So, here are some questions that you can ask them to get to know them better.
So, what did you and your friends do today?
Instead of asking them what they did in school which is a question most of the kids hate, asking them what they did with their friends prompts them into telling what all they did today and as an added bonus you get to know who their friends are. It is very important that you know their current friends and what is new in their social life. But keep in mind that you are not being overly invasive of their personal space. Don’t force your questions on them, let them take their time.
What are you currently watching/listening?
This question opens them up towards you. Serials and music are a very important part of their lives and they will be thrilled when their parents want to also see or listen to this amazing thing they have discovered. You can also take part and watch it to know why they like it so much. You can also tell them about the shows you like or the music you listen to. This helps them look at you as a friend more than a parent which will help you connect better. But whatever you do please do not criticize their choices and forbid them watching or listening. This will just destroy your relationship with them and make it very difficult to mend your relationship later. You can casually mention that it’s nice and you can see why they might like it but it’s just not your cup of tea.
If you could be anyone for one day, who will you be?
This question always gives you a better insight in their mind. You come to know what their personality is like and how they think. It also tells you a lot about what they are afraid of, or don’t like, and what they want to change in their lives.
What do you dream to be?
It is important here that whatever happens don’t be judgmental about their choices. They have just shared an intimate detail of their life with you, don’t ruin it by telling them that you shouldn’t pursue it. Support them in following that dream and let them know you are there for them.
Name three things you like and don’t like about yourself?
This will help you understand what they think of themselves and give you an idea about their point of view.
Name three things you like and don’t like about me?
This is your chance to know what they admire about you and how you can improve for them. Do not take it the wrong way when they mention what they don’t like about you and take it sportingly. And remember they only told this because you asked them to.
What is your biggest secret? You tell me, I tell you.
They aren’t just going to tell you their secret, you have got to spill the beans yourself first! Treasure their secret. Be prepared for whatever they are going to tell you and no matter how silly it seems to you don’t let them know it because it is their deepest secret and hence important for them.
What is your worst nightmare?
Whatever they tell you, ask them if there is anything you can do to help them.
Are you happy with your life?
This seems like a silly question but it is very important. And congratulations if they say yes, and if they don’t; don’t lose hope because they did have the courage to tell you and you have a chance to make it better.
What do you don’t like about your school or is there any teacher you don’t like?
Don’t dismiss their worries and take them very seriously.