Teenage is a hard time for you and your kids. Nothing is really the same anymore and your little babies’ lives don’t revolve around you anymore. They are turning into adults and will have their own life. This confusing time definitely puts a strain on your relationship with your kids.
Suddenly, they start hating you and everything you do. Moreover, they become distant with you. In these troubled times, it is difficult to become their friends anymore. But, here are 5 sure-fire ways to befriend your teenager which will definitely give you a ticket back in their lives.
1. Listen to them
There are some precious moments in life when your teenage children come to talk to you. Grab these opportunities with both hands and make the best of them. Whenever they are talking to you about something listen carefully. For them sharing anything with you is a very personal moment for them. Treasure their secrets.
When they are talking, listen with an open mind. Whenever they share, don’t be judgmental about what you listen. And even if you have doubts keep them to yourselves, and find another appropriate time and ask in a friendly manner.
Be compassionate about their feelings. Don’t dismiss them just because you find it difficult to understand. If they get the notion that their feelings don’t matter even in their own house then they are going to have a lot of insecurities with them for a very long time. Navigating these emotions is hard in itself, don’t make it harder by not supporting.
2. Give them freedom, don’t be controlling
They are not little kids anymore. They need to have more freedom than they had before. The last thing you want for them is to rebel against you. If you become a control freak and forbid them from doing something they will do what they want anyways, but simply hide it from you.
Giving them freedom does not mean that you let them do anything they please, just have some rules, don’t go overboard with it. The more open you are with them, the more they will reciprocate.
3. Respect their views and opinions
Teenage is the phase where they start having opinions and views themselves. Respect these views and opinions even if they seem weird to you. They are teenagers in a world different from when you were in the same position. They will not be having the same thought process as you.
You need to have an open mind while dealing with them. They are going to become adults in a matter of time.
Let them build their own opinions. Let them be their own person. When you respect them and their views they also reciprocate. But if you are adamant about your own views and won’t change, it is going to be your fault if they aren’t on good terms with you.
4. Let them explore themselves and their world
Your children are soon going to be adults and handle their own lives and problems. This is the time when they need to know who they really are. This is the time when they will know what their place is in this world. Don’t be the one to stop them from exploring new things.
Don’t discourage them from anything new they might want to try. If you don’t let them explore now, they will never learn on their own.
How will they survive this world if they haven’t understood it? Give them a chance to see this world and perceive it with their own eyes and perceive it the way they see fit. All you have to do is be there as their unfailing support system that will never fail them.
5. Accept them
They are going to be a different person than you. Instead of trying to tweak their personality to make them the way you want, be the one who influences them to be a better person. You can be their role model so that they can learn from you what they want.
This way you will be a part of them and they wouldn’t mind it. Also there is a fair chance that they will make some life choices that may seem absurd to you, but try and have an open mind about it. Try to understand their choices.
All they ask from you is acceptance. From the beginning you have been their heroes, and your support is all that matters for them.
All this is going to require immense patience from your side. Try your best. You take the first step forward, they will surely reciprocate.