Parenting is not a piece of cake. You will make mistakes along the way. Some of them are so destructive that they will have a lasting impact on your child. And there is no going back from here. The effect that it will have on your child is inexcusable.
So, it is better to avoid these parenting sins and stay at least a mile away from them at the least. It is going to be hard to stay away from things you don’t know, isn’t it? Do not panic. We have got this for you, here are the eight unforgivable sins of parenting that you should avoid at all costs (so that you don’t go to parenting hell).
8. To not spend quality time with your child.
Your responsibilities towards your child do not end at providing food, shelter, and clothing (and, of course, wifi ). There is more to it than meets the eye. Your child needs you more than anything in this world. But, in order to provide them with things that are secondary for them, you forget the prime responsibility.
Giving them your time, being with them. No matter how many toys or devices you get them, nothing will be able to fill your need in their life.
Now, the keyword here is ‘quality.’ And this will be determined by whether the kids enjoyed themselves or not. Ideally, quality time is where you do fun activities together as a family, and not something you just have to get done.
7. To not teach your kids to respect your needs and requirements.
In a family, everyone’s feelings and needs are to be respected. At home, you are a team, and you look after each other. Now, this is how it should be, not necessarily how it is. You have to teach your kids that everybody in the family deserves equal treatment. Just because you are adults, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have your needs that need attention.
When children are indifferent towards your problems, you are hurt. But what you don’t realize is that you are responsible for their behavior. You never taught them to be considerate about you. Letting your children take you for granted is one of the most unforgivable sins you could ever commit.
Parents compare their children with others, knowingly or unknowingly. You expect them to improve. In other words, you want them to become like ‘that person.’ If that is your idea of improvement, then you are dead wrong. Believe it or not, your child is unique.
And they come with their own set of ‘strong points’ that set them apart. But when you compare them with others having different qualities, you hamper their progress.
They have a different purpose in life, and if you keep getting in their way with this ‘why aren’t you like him/her?’ attitude, you are going to stop them from being what they are supposed to be. And ruin their future in the process.
I can’t stress enough how much this puts a damper on your child’s progress. You are not an alarm clock or a manager. You are a parent. So don’t try to be one. Here is breaking news for you. Children hate it when someone keeps telling them what to do all the time.
And what is the aftermath of this control-freak behavior? Pent up animosity, no mutual-understanding, and the list continues.
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Your children mean the world to you. And you want to do everything that is in your power to make their life easier..Speaking about unforgivable sins, here is one you commit unknowingly. Instead of preparing them for the journey ahead, you try to prepare it for them.
But unfortunately, that is not how it works. You are inadvertently incapacitating them. You are trying to keep them in a bubble, away from everything.
3. Ignoring your partner
You are in it together. Both of you are each other’s support system. If you are in a tough spot, your partner is the one who is going to get you out of it. You are embarking on this journey as a team. And if you forget about each other, it is going to take a toll on you. Communicate with each other. Discuss your problems and try to find a solution together.
Take an interest in your partner’s hobbies. Plan activities just for the two of you sometimes. If the relationship is deteriorating between their two guardians, then children are going to face the brunt of it. Both of you mean the world to them, and to see their world not coalescing scars them for life.
2. No ‘me’ time
Your ‘me’ time is just as vital for your kids as it is for you. Some alone time is always necessary to connect with your inner self. You need time to put things in perspective. The more you delay it, the more irritable you become. And children notice it when you get upset with them for no reason at all. Irritability and ‘me’ time are inversely proportional to each other.
Plus, kids can be a handful. They take up all your energy and patience. You need a time-out where you can just relax, do things you like, and ready your mind for the battlefield again.
1. No acceptance
Nobody is perfect, not even your child. It is a hard truth that you have just got to swallow. It doesn’t mean that they are wrong or anything. It is just that they have their strengths and weaknesses. And you have to accept them, the entire package.
Acceptance is the first step to the improvement of your child. It is monumental that you address their shortcomings and continually work on them. But, for some parents, it is impossible for them to handle the fact that their precious little child is not flawless.
And so, they continue to live on in denial, which hampers the growth of their child. Having weaknesses is not a problem. It is the way we deal with them that defines if it is a problem or not.
So, these are the 8 unforgivable sins of parenting that you may be a part of and did not realize. Well, it is never too late to rectify your mistakes. And the moment you will accept your blunders and work on it, you will be on the right track again.