‘To some people, life is like a battle. They work hard, face struggles and if they don’t win, they feel like they have lost’. Although sometimes people tend to give up on life if they are unable to succeed, this hasn’t been the case with AB.
He quotes “ I’m not defined by the circumstances, I define my circumstances”. This statement serves apt in the case of AB.
Despite all the challenges he has faced in his life, he stands tall with pride today as an optimist influencer and a positive believer of self-esteem and gratitude. In his childhood, he happened to be a very bright kid excelling in his academics, had a charming personality but led a simple life. Being the youngest in the family, had its own perks. It meant a lot of pampering and no family burden on his shoulders as it was taken care of by the elders… It seemed as if his life was as easy as a pie.
I’m not defined by the circumstances, I define my circumstances
Although his life seemed very comforting and easy, this was all delusional for him. He faced issues as a kid that put him in a state of distress.
Since the age of 14 years, he started to struggle with the issues of low self-esteem, deep-rooted fear, lack of desire to fight back, poor hand-eye coordination, extremely poor common sense and the tendency to give up easily. Though everyone around him identified his good qualities and encouraged him but didn’t use to pay much heed to his emotional and mental development. He was a very short-tempered child that propelled him to pick up a fight with anybody for petty reasons and created a lot of negativity in him. He was muddled with his life This left him devastated, He felt low in his life and questioned his ability every time something went wrong.
It wasn’t a concerning situation at hand for his family and teachers as they thought that every child faces these issues. What they couldn’t understand was that although children while growing up a lot more sensitive and vulnerable to these issues, it is up to them how they deal with it. Not everyone is strong enough to live their way through it and AB was one of them.
As it’s said ‘We never lose our demons, We only learn to live above them’.
As time went by he was unable to find any peace with the cynical outlook he had made towards his life.
Due to his attitude, he was not able to maintain good terms with anyone. Friends distanced themselves away from him because of his repugnant attitude. At one point of time in his life, while he was on his lowest, the idea of committing suicide also came across his mind.
His life was going downhill and he couldn’t find a way to climb back up
At a very young age, AB achieved a respectable position at his job because of his exemplary intellect and intelligence. But this only added to his anguish as he was placed among the people from an elite background who was well-versed in English. Coming from a humble background, it created a sense of inferiority complex in him and made him feel like an outcast among them..
Throughout his years at work, it was tormenting for him and only contributed to his lack of self-esteem further.
Sometimes he felt as if his life was moving like a boat with no direction and without any shoulder to cry on. He often visualized himself alone in a big dark, stinky dungeon and felt sick to his stomach staying there. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to survive in this condition for long.
On several occasions, death came across his mind and he had lost control on the leash of his life.
He was uncertain of where he was leading his life towards or if he had a chance to escape. But he was certain of one thing that it was time for him to leave his sorry state and saw a number of options in front of him. It was a way out and he needed to be sure which path would lead him towards the light.
The options available to him were –
- A door towards a pretentious life leaving everything on its usual condition, ignoring it like a rat with its eyes closed ready to be eaten any moment by the cat.
- The second option was to look for a person in the position of power and do anything to please him to succeed by riding on his shoulders.
- And the third was to just leave everything to fate waiting for things to turn in his favor. He could see people around him, resorting to one of these options and succeeding in what they aspired for. But it was not what he desired for. Eternal peace and happiness were of great significance and choosing any one of them would have taken him farther from his destination. Then he managed to find a fourth option which he hadn’t noticed earlier.
It was a path to salvation which AB was seeking for long but only to find out that it was the path unexplored and didn’t guarantee a risk-free journey. Although it was the most difficult path he was certain on choosing and his decision was firm on it. He threw the keys of the rest of the doors and moved towards the one he had chosen. He wanted a self-transformation for himself.
It was finally time to begin the adventures of his life!
Like a typical adventurer, AB knew that he had to explore and discover a new path for himself. For that, he took some supplementary decisions to ensure that his journey keeps on with minimal disruptions. Those realizations were:
- To give himself enough time and space to grow.
- Transformation is not something that would happen overnight. In fact, he perceived that it may take a few years. It was scary but Notwithstanding it, he made up his mind to stick to his decision.
- Have no regrets
- He was aware that his life became a mess due to his shortcomings so he did not expect it to take a 360 u-turn right away. It was within his awareness that along this path of transformation, he would take a number of wrong decisions. Realizing this, he decided not to regret any of them. If he makes any mistake, he would learn from it and move on. He took this decision to ensure that he doesn’t go into any self-guilt mode as it would make him significantly weak.
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- Hold no grudges against anyone
- He realized that strength would be the key to persistence in his efforts. Any sort of revengeful thoughts would be detrimental. Hence he decided to forgive everyone regardless of whatever good or bad they do to him.
- To not surround himself with negative people
- AB realized that positivity coupled with strength was very vital for his journey to go on with minimum interruptions. So he decided to remain positive and avoid interaction with negative people. He even decided to reduce human interaction and focus on himself. Initially, he was clueless as there was nobody to guide. Despite this, he remained firm on his decision. Finally, the first breakthrough was when he picked up the reading habit. Though it was not easy at first as he struggled with books, he took a few years before he became comfortable with them. Over time, this habit proved to be the prime reason for the major turnaround in his life.
To begin with, he started reading all genres of books. But later he switched to self-help books and learned something new from each one of them. AB learned that reading books was not just about gaining knowledge and more about learning the message behind it. He used to read books and then mull over the contents for hours and analyze where he was going wrong.
As he fostered the habit, he realized that he was on the right track. He was finally sure that the decision he took years ago was for his best as he would never have learned any of this had he been continuing his previous job. Life was falling into place. There was a big void when he began which was being filled gradually.. People’s opinions mattered no more. There was no room for cynicism and negativity but continuous hard work. However, people around him wondered what he was up to. Unlike others his focus was not on finances, career etc, This made him an outcast among his friends. But he was not dazzled a bit by it.
He managed to crack the code of life that ‘Life is, but a game of mind.’
He gained strength with time at a snail’s pace.
To cut the long story short( He is open to sharing further details if anyone is keen to learn) with utmost patience and dedication, after 17 long years, AB finally achieved the peace he was seeking. He took the toughest decision of his life some 21 years ago and has not regretted it since. He proudly lives an extraordinary and self-directed life with compassion, awareness and a sense of wonder.
“The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it’s possible to achieve the dream.”
-Tommy Hilfiger
People had expected AB to turn negative and whiny under these circumstances he was in, considering his cynical outlook, but AB had promised himself to not let his negative attitude come in-between anymore.
At a young age, he did suffer from a few non-terminal but incurable diseases
Amoebiasis
Piles
Total tooth decay
High Cholesterol
Low immunity
Extremely sensitive throat change in weather/cold water
Moderate spondylitis
He experimented with his body for almost one and a half decades just to check how it responded to various stimuli be it different kinds of food, weather or even emotions. It wasn’t easy to do but he was clear in his mind to go the distance at any cost. After almost 2 decades of his effort, he finally succeeded to cure himself of all diseases. He consumes no medicine and rarely falls sick. His energy levels are very high throughout the day.
He promised to view life as an adventure and let every day come with a new opportunity to explore. If something goes bad today, there’s always a tomorrow.
Though AB was clueless initially as to where life would take him, he was certain that he’s not going to settle for the one that he was living. He wanted to achieve more and live more. We should follow the same with our lives as well. If we are in a situation, we should never think that our life has ended or there’s nothing we can do about it. Of course, we can do anything. There should be no limit to human endeavors. We all are different. If you want a change in your life, then GO! Take a step!
All it takes is a brave heart and a fierce mind.
As Professor Stephen Hawking once said, “However difficult life may seem, there’s always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up.”
“However difficult life may seem, there’s always something you can do and succeed at. It matters that you don’t just give up.”