Moving from one place to another can be quite exhilarating. But, at the same time, it can be quite daunting. Leaving a place where you have adjusted quite well, and now moving to someplace where you will again become ‘the new one.’ When it could be so stressful for you imagine, how your kids must be feeling?
When we are shifting to a new place, it is a huge change. And when something of that magnitude is happening, it has to be dealt with in an appropriate way. We cannot just ‘wing it.’ If the challenges that our kids face with these types of events are not handled the right way, it is going to scar them for life. And here is how you can ensure that it does not happen.
Don’t make it a surprise.
Moving is not a fun surprise for your children if they love their current house. It is something that the entire family should discuss together and decide as one unit.
If possible, let your kids know that they have a choice in it. This way they will not feel like everything is slipping out of their hands and they cannot do anything about it. It will make them more relaxed going ahead with the situation.
Sometimes, transferring is inevitable. In such cases, we can talk to the kids in another way. We can tell them very calmly and positively that, it is very necessary that we will have to move and that you know it is not going to be easy for them. However, you want them to give it a fair chance with an open mind.
And still, if you do not like it there, we will think of something else. But, we will make sure that you don’t have to be unhappy. But, first, we want you to embrace the change completely and give it your best shot.
Knowing that they always have a choice will reduce their stress at least ten folds.
Hear them out.
When you are going to tell your children the news, make sure you have enough time to have a proper conversation. Once you have put forth your point, now it is time for them to express their views.
Your children are going to have a lot to say, listen to it patiently. Your calm attitude while they are speaking will make it easier for them. Have an open mind. Whatever they want to say, do not get angry or frustrated at them.
When a family has a proper dialogue, it becomes very beneficial for the child’s development. Just imagine, all of you are talking to each other like mature people and handling a situation together as a unit. Who wouldn’t like that? Nobody that I know.
Prepare them for the challenges ahead.
Let us be honest here, it is not going to be a walk in the park for you or your children. Starting anew is always challenging. So, let us be upfront about it, and not keep our children in the dark.
Make your children aware of the possible roadblocks they could hit over at the new place. Now here is what it will do. First, it will give them confidence that you have thought about them too. Children mostly think that the grown-ups take decisions without even considering their feelings, which is obviously not true, but that is how they perceive it. And second of all, they get an opportunity to think about an action plan to deal with the possible hurdles.
Help them tackle the anxiety that comes with moving.
“I will move into a new place, will the new room be as good as my bedroom? What will I do if it isn’t? And what about the school? I like my school here. What if the teachers are horrible to me? What if I don’t understand anything they teach? Everyone will make fun of me! I will not be able to make any friends there. I am going to be lonely!” This is just a sample of what may be going on in your child’s head.
Help your children tackle the thoughts that are giving them anxiety. It is going to be daunting to go ahead with all of this. And more often than none, what will happen is not going to be as bad as they have imagined. As their parents, you can help them tackle these challenges. It will make it easier for them to face everything.
Show them the bright side of it.
There are positives everywhere we look. But, when we are not in the right frame of mind, we choose to see it. And that is what our children are doing right now. They are so busy thinking about all the possible horrors they will have to encounter when they transfer, that they cannot even see the bright side of it.
So, you can do the honours for them. Show the kids what all they can do once they move there. Give them some points that will help them like the place. When they start thinking of it as an exciting place, they are going to be onboard with the plan.
Keep them in the loop.
There are a hundred things that need to be taken care of, and a hundred decisions to be made. Keep your children also involved in the process. Make some choices together. This way moving is not ‘your’ decision for them, now it is ‘our’ decision.
Don’t lose your patience.
A lot of work brings a lot of stress. We cannot let the frustration of the work get to us. Moreover, we cannot let our frustration seep into our children. Whenever you are around your kids, consciously be aware that you do not take it all out on them. It will create a lot of negativity around the house, which we do not need on top of everything else that is currently going on.
These were some of the ways in which you could make the process of transfer easy on your children. Just remember, be positive and keep calm. Everything will fall into place, provided that you and your children are on the same page.