Why should you ever be a mean mother to your kids? Should you not always be a doting mother who loves and cares for her child? She should pamper her kids and protect them and see to it that they don’t get hurt. And, if her child is not doing something, then she should do it for them. It is her job to make the life of her progeny very comfortable.
But who are the mean mothers, and who labeled them so? Well, society labeled them ‘mean.’ Now, what exactly did she do to deserve this title? And why do I think that she is the best thing that has happened to our kids?
She thinks about herself.
How could she possibly do that? And you know what is more enraging, she is at peace when she thinks about her herself. I mean, is a human being supposed to do that? Yes, they are. But, maybe she has a point.
Every mother is a pillar of the family. If she collapses, the entire house collapses. When she is such an important part of the institution, she needs to be looked after, doesn’t she?
Mothers are not a different species. They are normal people. We do not have to put them on a pedestal and expect them to be superhuman who thinks about everyone but herself. She is a person, and she needs to be treated likewise. We do not have the right to make her feel guilty when she does something for herself, it is her right to do so.
If her child does not have food, she will have hers and go off to sleep.
A lot of parents complain that their kids are very picky and if there are ten things ready in the house, they want an altogether different thing. But, let us ponder over this, we teach them that if they do not want something they will always get something else. I know we do it because we want our kids to be happy. But, when we go out of the way to make sure that their every demand is looked after, we are sending the wrong message.
A mean mother is titled thus because when so many mothers worry themselves sick because her poor child did not have food, she did not make a big deal out of it. She gave her children the choice to decide for themselves when they wanted to eat. She also told them without actually telling them that they are not going to be entertained if they have irrational demands.
If her child falls sick or gets hurt, she is OK with it.
Getting hurt is an indispensable part of childhood. It is a factor in the natural growth process. If we tamper with it, we are hampering our child’s development.
A mother is in more pain than her child if she/he gets hurt. And so, sometimes, she starts panicking about it, and her fears blow out of proportion and she fusses over her child more than it was required. But, do you know how it affects the child?
The child, like his/her mother, is now scared even if they are in a small problem. They will always panic if they think that they get in trouble for doing something. And what happens then? Their growth is stunted. So, think that being a mother who is mean, may actually benefit her child.
If her child gets scolded in class, she makes fun of him/her.
Society does not understand how a mother could be so complacent about her child being reprimanded in school. They think that she should have given more attention to the matter in her hands. She should have held her child seriously for the mistakes that they made. Or, she should have asked the teacher why she had been so harsh with them.
Kids go to school to learn. And when you learn, you make mistakes. And when that happens, your teacher has to do her part in making you realize your mistake. Pretty straightforward I think, so does the mean mother. This is why she does not make a mountain out of it and takes it lightly, with a pinch of humor, so that her child also understands the lesson, but does not get negatively impacted by what their teacher told them.
If her child makes mistakes, she does not try to cover them up.
Making mistakes is a crucial part of life. And, childhood is the time where we will falter the most. The key is to learn something from them and move on. There is no need to hide it or feel bad about it.
We agree with these points, don’t we? But, somehow if a mother, a mean mother to be precise, holds her child accountable for their mistakes, we tend to criticize her. We think that she should have been the one to take the fall and protect her child from it.
But what she is doing through her actions is that she is teaching them to correct their own blunders. She knows that she would not be able to be there for her child all the time, which is why she is ensuring that her child can do it on his/her own. (Is it possible that she is not mean after all? No, no, don’t be stupid.)
She looks for opportunities to have fun on her own.
A lot of mothers complain that their teenagers or their adult children do not respect them or their requirements. They are very upset that their kids take them for granted. But, what they don’t realize is that they have been inadvertently training them for this behavior.
If a mother does not do anything for herself, or if she never has a life other than her family, how will her family learn about it? A mother needs to be respected, and in order to do that, she has to first respect herself.
There is nothing wrong with her having fun with people who are not her family. She can have a life on her own too which she can enjoy by herself. It is nothing to be frowned upon. She is setting a good example for her kids.
She gives money to her kids and forgets about it.
Keeping a track of the money we are spending is necessary, or is it? Of course, it is! But, should it not be the responsibility of the person who is spending it?
We want our kids to take responsibility, but we don’t give it to them, and then we start panicking about the same. If we are making our children responsible for the money they have, we are teaching them to handle it on their own. They will gradually learn to manage it well. But, if we are keeping track, they will never be able to do it on their own.
She does not remind her kids about the work that they have to do.
Everyone should take charge of their own life. And, if it happens in any other way than this, problems start creeping up. Whatever our life is, we need to be able to handle it. But, a lot of youngsters are not able to do it, why? because they never had the practice for it.
If parents keep reminding their children about everything that is to be done, how will they learn to do it?
You know, I think these points suggest that mean mothers make for good parents because they raise amazing children. When we remove the ideal image of a parent and a mother from our heads and focus on what actually needs to be done, we realize that we need to take the above steps. The world is in dire need of many more mean parents who are capable of raising a bright future.