Children are as fiddly as they can get. You never know when they will have their episodes of emotional outbursts. One minute they are sitting and playing with their toys merrily, and the next moment they are shouting and crying at the top of their voices for reasons best known to themselves.
These outbursts are a lot to cope with. And as parents, you are drained and tired of handling these sudden episodes. All hope seems to be lost when you don’t know how or what will calm them down. Well, stop worrying! We have the beacon of hope for you that will help you through these difficult times without having to leave your sanity.
Understand that it happens to everyone.
Emotional outbursts are not something only your child is going through. At one point or another, everyone goes through it. Then be it adults, or children, no one can escape the clutches of these explosions. And it is okay. Not every day is going to be a perfectly pleasant day.
There will be some rough (and I mean cactus rough) patches in your life that will make you lose control of yourself. In such conditions, it is alright if you exhibit some raging emotions. It is healthy even to let them out once in a while.
So, if your child is exhibiting such outbursts, then you don’t have to make a big deal out of it. But what you have to be careful about is that let it not become a habit. If your child is showing such behavior once in a while, then it is alright. But if it is happening more often, then there is a cause for concern, and you need to take action on it.
Stay strong and stable.
Imagine a scenario. Your child is having an emotional roller coaster. You have seen enough, have no patience left, and you also join in. Now, there are two catastrophic ways you chose from, first: join in on the ride and become emotional, and second: start shouting at them to stop it. The situation is, thus, everybody is collectively creating colossal chaos. The emotional outburst goes unattended.
So, here your plan of action decides the course of events. Instead of choosing the emotionally volatile way of handling things, go for a different approach. Try being calm and stable during the episode. Your children need to be able to depend on someone when they are having a crisis.
Instead, if you are emotional too, then who will calm them down? Stay strong. It will never be easy to look at your child have an emotional meltdown and seem like you are doing nothing. You participating will not do them any favors. Instead, when you are the rock of the support they needed, you are doing a good job.
They just need to know that you are there.
Your children do not need a lecturer on the subject of morals (they already learn that in value education). All they need is to know that you are going to be there for them. It is this comforting feeling that they need to calm down more than anything. When you want to support someone, doing something is not always necessary. Sometimes, your presence is all that matters. Whenever they are having an emotional outburst, be near them. Let them know that they won’t be alone.
You have to let your children know that they don’t have to hide anything from you. You have to be their ‘safe zone.’ No matter what they are going through, they can always count on you to be there. Don’t judge them or criticize their behavior. It will make them distant from you.
If your children cannot express their emotions in front of you, where will they express themselves? Bottling up is not going to make the situation better. It may avoid an outburst at the moment, but you are laying the groundwork for an epic meltdown in the future.
Talk to them when they have calmed down.
When you are upset, no matter who is talking or what they are saying, we do not listen. We are just not in the mindset to listen to anybody. So, any advice given by anyone in that timeframe is just water down the drain. The same happens with children. They are so emotionally unstable that they cannot comprehend anything you are saying to them. And if you try to talk to them about it in this timeframe, then you are not going to get the result that you wanted.
Instead, talk to your children after the storm has died out. They will be receptive when you choose such a moment. Not only will they hear you out, but also try and apply what you said. Now, just because you have found them in receptive mode, don’t make it a long seminar. Keep it brief. It will have a bigger impact on them.
Be a role model.
Whatever you want to teach your child, it should start with you. If you have a problem getting hold of your emotions, then your children will also learn the same. They mimic our behavior. So, give them something good to mimic. Practice what you preach. Whenever you are in a rough spot, handle it calmly, without going overboard with your emotions. When your children see you handle complicated situations with ease, they will adopt it in their life.
Children are not experts at handling emotions. They need to learn it. And over time, they will get a better understanding of this concept. But that doesn’t mean you should not teach them. When you start early, they learn better. They need to learn how to tame their emotions because life gets tougher with every passing minute. And if they want to survive, they have to be on the same page with themselves. They have to be better connected with their emotions.
Leave a Reply