Life in the 21st century has become so hectic and fast that they are certain things in life that we tend to miss. And these things turn out to be the things that mattered the most and we forgot them because we had other priorities. This is applicable to kids too. They are wrapped neck deep in their life and its problems that they forget the important aspects of life, aspects that could have made their lives easier and happier. So, here are the 5 essential life aspects that they tend to forget.
1. Gratitude
Now, gratitude isn’t simply about saying a thank you because it is compulsory. It is about the feeling that we get when we are thankful about something. There is new found appreciation for the everyday things in life that may go unnoticed otherwise. Being thankful for all that is good in your life makes all the difference. It is the difference between a positive state of mind and a negative state of mind, whether you are in a vicious cycle or virtuous cycle.
Most of the time children take everything for granted and don’t acknowledge the importance of it. A simple thank you and sorry are words that they rarely use nowadays. ‘Mom cooks- isn’t she supposed to do that anyway?’, ‘the maid cleans- that’s what she is there for isn’t it?’, ‘the teacher teaches- so what? I didn’t want to be here in the first place’, and so on and so forth. They don’t even realize that something is missing from their lives. There won’t be any disastrous consequences of not being gracious but there sure will be happiness in your life.
But here is an interesting question, is gratitude vanishing only from the lives of children or are you too missing out on something? Think about it. (Things get interesting when they become about you, don’t they?)
2. Believing in oneself
The world is designed in a way that makes you think that you are not capable of doing anything. Is it? No. The world isn’t built that way. You look at it that way. Children these days think that they are incapable of doing anything on their own. They have low self-confidence. It becomes extremely difficult for them to live in this tough world when they can’t even believe in the one person that will always be with them every step of the way, themselves. Self-belief is the key to success. You recognize your true potential only when you believe you have it. Most of the kids today want to be someone else because they don’t believe there is something interesting about them too. And more often than none, they try to be excellent in the race meant for someone else and ignore their true calling. Self-belief is the pick-me-up they have to remain strong even when things may be falling apart.
Self-belief helps your child to stand-out from the crowd. Not because they are better than others, but because they are the only ones like them. Self-belief tells them that they are unique. On the other hand, self-doubt destroys your child from the inside and they don’t even realize it till it’s too late.
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3. Seeking instant gratification
Children want everything and they want it now. They want results right away. They will easily swap for some happiness they will get right now than wait for greater happiness. They need to have the self-control to wait for something better. They are constantly impatient. They cannot wait their turn. Everything they want has to be with them ASAP. And for that they will settle for an off-the-rack version of themselves rather than wait for the custom-made version. The one that is specifically designed for them.
They get it partly from you. You want them to be good at things and you want them to be good at it now. Your children have a chance to be a better version of themselves. They have a chance to be something extraordinary. But you can’t handle that they will take time to be different from others. Who wants to wait for something better when you can be ‘awesome’ (sarcasm) like others right here right now?
4. Taking responsibility of their life
Not an ‘only kids’ problem. They don’t want to be held responsible for their life choices because these choices may not be right. And they are afraid to fail. That is when they transfer the responsibility of their life to their parents so that they don’t have to take the blame should anything go wrong. This self- doubt, low confidence will have lasting impressions on their life.
They may get away with this when they are kids but who will they transfer their responsibilities to when they themselves become an adult. This will forever make them dependent on you and that is a bad thing.
5. Being original
Children are constantly faced with the challenge of fitting in. They want to feel like they belong in this world. And in order to do that they decide to become someone else who is already gaining popularity, in simpler words they copy. They feel that if they become like that cool girl or the awesome boy in school they will be popular too. They will be recognized too. But when there is already one person of that kind why would you be noticed for the same thing again? What they think to be a place in the world is actually a false image, a false idea. Even the people they look up to as cool will be copying (most of the time) someone they think is cool.
It’s a vicious circle. But your kids can break this circle of ‘I want to be just like him/her’ only when they are unique. When they are one of a kind. The only way they can make a place for them in the world will be by being something who someone never was and will never be. And that my friends is the actual definition of cool.
Children often ignore these life aspects for the sake of finding answers to the ‘problems’ that they are having. But what they don’t understand, until very late in life, that the reason they couldn’t find any solution was because the solution was staring them in the face and they ignore it for the problem that they were having, it starts getting complicated when you start thinking doesn’t it?
Amit, so very well written… You’ve touched the essence so aptly, there couldn’t be a better attribute than gratitude that should and must be taught to the children.. It’ll help them not only become better human beings but shall escalate them much much higher on the pedestals of success..kudos to you buddy, keep expressing, keep sharing.. Thanks
Thanks a lot Nitin. I always find your words very encouraging. This blog is a reminder for everyone to follow simple things to see exceptional results
My daughter is just two years old sir. But coming across this article is a boon for me. These are certainly the points that must be ingrained into a child. Gratitude as you correctly brought out is not only missing from childs life but from our own life too. Will try and be more grateful.
The points of low self esteem, making a unique identity are so well brought out. Will definitely try to incubate these abilities.
Life is not very difficult only if we know how to keep it simple. With kids it is very much like that.
As parent of a 2 years old, you are doing just the right thing. First few years of child’s life are very critical to lay a strong foundation. Please learn and implement and see magic unfolding in your child’s life.