A helicopter parent, yes there’s a term like this and we’ll be discussing that with you. You’ve bestowed a huge responsibility once you bring a new life into the world. It befalls on you to keep your children safe, clean, and happy. Though, where’s the line between attentive parenting and parental overload? After reading this blog, you might be able to understand whether you are one or not.
What is helicopter parenting?
Helicopter parenting is basically a term which applied to parents when they are hovering in their kid’s life. They got a little confused between protective and overprotective. Helicopter parenting can be applied to any age. During toddlerhood, the parent drives the child’s behaviour and does not give the kid a chance to learn through their experiences.
In elementary school, the parent selects the child’s coach, their friends, and activities. These parents can be a little obsessive when it comes to their children’s safety, education, extracurricular activities, and whatnot.
Many of us presumably grew up more like free-range kids, out playing with the neighbours, riding our bikes to the park, pretty much doing our thing until it was time to come home for lunch. However, when we became parents ourselves, something’s changed. Somehow we crossed the line from being a supportive and positive parent to being too protective for our own good or maybe the good of our kids.
We’re pretty certain nobody sets out to be a helicopter parent. But, if you’re not concerned it can creep up on you. And it isn’t a great attribute for your child.
There are numerous studies which show the contrary effects of helicopter parenting including raising kids who are anxious, less independent, and have low self-esteem.
That is why it’s crucial to notice when these helicopter tendencies start creeping into your own parenting method. So maybe you can stop there and there and take a deep breath before you become that hovering, overprotective parent you really don’t want to be.
Here are some signs which show that you are indeed a helicopter parent.
- You’re doing your kid’s homework
Okay, you have to admit that you want them to score higher than before and because of this, you give their homework or projects, a finishing touch. Parents need to understand that there’s a fine line between helping and completing. If it’s late and they haven’t finished their school work then it’s really hard to ignore their pitiful little face and thus you always end up doing their homework, then definitely you’re a helicopter parent.
- Whenever someone asks a question to your kid and you answer
If you’re one of those parents, who answers every question that has been asked to your kid, then it’s time to step back. If you keep doing this, then your child will feel socially inactive and left out.
- You try to protect them from every failure
As a parent, we want to shield our children from every problem and every failure. We don’t want to let them fall. We are always trying to prove that we’ve got them. If you get concerned and feel your heart dropping at the thought of your child getting just a minor grade drop, you might need to rework on your parent and child relationship. However, if you don’t let them face their failures then how would they grow as individuals?
- You want to make decisions on behalf of them
We often judge our kid by their age. For us, they’re always small dumplings. We want them to be all-rounders, and that’s why we don’t let them choose what they want. We often try to be a model for our children to be the better version of ourselves. And in that process, we don’t bother to ask their own preference.
- Trying to fight their battle
Are you the one who calls the teacher, if your child got an unfair grade?
If your child didn’t get a role in a school play, do you rush over the school?
If your answer is yes, then you need to relax. Situations like these, your child has to fight on their own. They have to take a step forward in order to get something.
- Constantly monitoring your child
It’s true that they need your attention. But that doesn’t mean that you have to monitor them with every movement. If they fall, let them stand by themselves. If you constantly keep an eye on their movement, then they start having this mindset, if anything goes wrong, you’ll eventually protect them.
- When you believe that there should be no boundaries or personal space
It’s really clingy when parents want to be a part of their children’s life so bad that they become selfish. We want kid to be around all the time. During this, we often forget that they also have their own life. It is necessary to give children some space to breathe, think and explore. As a parent, if you always push your child to share everything, then they will feel anxious. A child who grows up in an environment where there is no notion of boundaries will always be vulnerable to the external world. Hence, they will lack some social skills.
- When you’re being too authoritative
There is a tendency in parents that they want to show their kid who’s in charge here. They do so in order to get respect from their child. Little did they know that it has a negative impact on their mind. This includes when you set up too many rules and curfews and don’t allow them to go out with friends, grounding your child often or punish them for their mistakes, or, when you don’t allow them to have sleepovers. If you are too strict with your children and rule them with an iron reign, then the relationship of the parent and child will be observed to be sour.
If you have observed any of these signs, then this is the right time to change yourselves. We have to make our kids rock-strong. And they’ll become if we let them bloom on their own. It’s high time for parents to sit back and let their kids enjoy a carefree childhood. All parents want their child to be ahead of their fellow classmates, however, instead of expecting them to beat everyone in the class, encourage them to pick up things on their own by introducing game-based learning methods. In order for your child to grow up healthy with proper social skills, it is vital for you to stop being actively involved in every phase of their lives. Eventually, the happiness of your child should determine how successful you are as a parent, not their exam grades or their trophies.