It is an intriguing topic, and perhaps a very crucial one when you come to think about it. First things first, the ‘s word’ scares us in front of our kids. And when you add the ‘e word’ that is education, it is a whole new level of queasy. Now, most of you will think, “why is sex education necessary? We never learned it, but here we are.” If you remember this, you must also recall how lost and confused you were when you first acquired the knowledge. And don’t get me started on all the misconceptions you must have built along the way.
So, why you?
Well, you need to take the bullet on this one for your child. Because one way or another, they will learn. They might as well learn it from someone who has the proper knowledge, someone who will give them all the correct answers instead of a pirated version.
It is a natural process. There is nothing to be uneasy about sex education. But don’t worry, we are not going to leave you in the dark (like you would have probably done to your kids on this matter). Here is how you can have a chat with them about the ‘s word’ and everything related to it, without making it too complicated, for both of you.
Don’t be too late
There is no point in avoiding it for too long. As soon as your kids are an adolescent, you need to start talking. Their bodies are going to change. A lot of things are going to happen in their life that they must not have anticipated. Once puberty hits, you have to take action. You need to talk to them about the changes that are going to happen to their body and why. If you keep delaying, when things change, they are going to be unprepared and afraid. So don’t dawdle too much. Just get it done as early as possible.
Don’t be uncomfortable yourself.
You know, it is not that big a deal. We learn about every aspect of life, then why not this? It is not some taboo. Everybody is going to go through it. Plus, you are mature adults now, you can do this. If you are uncomfortable about it, your child will also be. Children need to know that they don’t have to be ashamed about it. And no matter what happens, they can always come to you for help. Don’t make them think twice before coming up to you with a query.
Be prepared for the questions.
It is not going to be a monologue and scene. After you explain, your child will have doubts. Do not dismiss them. No matter how silly you may find the doubts. They are relevant to them. Also, there is no need to mince your words. Be honest about your answers. Besides, there is a chance that they have some pre-conceptions about it from another source. Don’t lie or give them the sugar-coated form of it.
Whatever they ask, be direct about it. When your child asks questions, be calm and mature about it. You will have time to be awkward later.
First connect, then talk.
You may be gearing up for this talk for a long time, but they haven’t. Your child is unaware of all the plans and schemes going around in your brain. They are going on about their lives without any idea of what is going to hit them. So, it will bode well if you ease them into it. There is no need to put them on the spot.
Sex education is a touchy subject for them as it is, don’t scare them away. Your child will never be able to talk with you about it.
Don’t blow your chances of talking with them by being abrupt. Take your time. Start a conversation, make a connection, lay down the foundation, and then go for it. It will be easier for them to be receptive. If you skip these steps, they will just shut you out of their system. And that will not be in any way helpful.
Make them feel safe
Home is a safe haven for any child. But things may change when they are not the threshold of teenage. You need to gain their trust back. They need to feel safe again. But all of this will mean nothing if they are not comfortable at home, speaking about it with you. And for this, you have to stop being judgemental. Don’t ridicule their choices.
When they are comfortable at home, discussing such topics becomes that much easier.
Before starting on this mission, you need to accept it yourself. It is a very natural thing, and your kids need to be informed about it. As your child becomes a teenager, the attraction is inevitable. It is a part of growing up. This feeling, if mishandled, will be very harmful. But, if you have discussed it properly, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Safety is a serious issue, but when you are not even aware of the situation, that is a whole new level of danger. And, not to mention the influence of the internet. It is a boon as it is a curse. Everything is available at the tip of their hands. This information is useful in the hands of someone aware of it. Half knowledge is just as destructive in these situations. So it is better to be safe than sorry.
No matter what you do, sex education is going to be a difficult subject. But that does not mean that you don’t address it at all. As parents, it is your responsibility to ensure they aren’t unaware of this topic. Your children are going to be confused, and they need your help and expertise to navigate through all of it. Times are changing rapidly. Sex education has become relevant now more than ever. You will do anything for your kids, what is a little uncomfortable talk?