A house is a car that has all the people as its wheels. If there is a flat, the entire vehicle derails. Similarly, in a family, if even one person is feeling under the weather, everyone is caught in the crossfire. Whenever your children are in a bad mood, there is tangible tension in the house.
Everybody is walking around on eggshells trying their best not to wake the dragon. But is that the permanent solution? If your child is exhibiting problematic behavior, are you supposed to just knuckle under? No. You have to help your child improve their mood and behavior. Here is how you can do it.
Appreciate good behavior.
You like to do whatever gets you recognition, value, and respect. The moral of the story is, whenever your child does something nice, you need to recognize it and appreciate them.
It doesn’t matter how huge the accomplishment it needs to be acknowledged. This way, they will know when they are doing the right thing. It will also give them the confidence that they are doing a good job. So whenever they are behaving well, they need to know that you are noticing it.
Don’t micromanage
You are your children’s guide. It is your duty to advise them. However, it doesn’t mean that you keep track of their every move and keep nagging them to do it. Also, they do not need to know how they are supposed to do every single thing in their life, continually, from you.
They are not going to be pleased about it. If they are incessantly poked about the way they are doing things, having a good mood is damn near impossible.
Maintain a connection
Whenever you want to be on the same page with your children, you will have to initiate a connection. In an electric circuit, when two wires are not connected, the electric current does not flow. The same analogy is useful when you are dealing with your children.
If you want to talk to them about something crucial, you need to ensure that you have made a connection. Otherwise, all your efforts are going to go down the drain because they are not listening to you. They will not understand your point of view if you talk to them at any time.
In addition to it, making a connection is not a one-time thing. You have to keep nurturing it. You have to keep working on it. It is a bridge between you that requires constant maintenance.
Also, you will have to take the first step if you want your children to reciprocate. When they feel connected to you, it will instantly elevate their mood. They will also be more receptive to your suggestions for improving their behavior.
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Smooth out the creases in the routine that cause stress.
There are moments in a day that test your patience. It is in these moments that your track record for ‘being on good behavior’ can go askew.
When you can predict the pressure points, you can work on them. For example, if your child is overwhelmed by all the activities happening in the afternoon, making him/her cranky, then you need to help them make it easier on them. It will significantly help them remain calm and composed.
Help your children make a practically feasible schedule, and not just good-looking on the paper. Think about all the roadblocks that could come into the routine. Give them adequate breathing time so that they can go through the day without breakdowns.
Find the root cause
More often than none, the behavioral problems that the children are presenting are the tip of the iceberg. What you are seeing may not be the cause. They may just be the symptoms. Sometimes, when children are going through something else, it is possible that they may hide it from you.
In such situations, you have to remain calm. Your panic is not going to move things along. Patiently sit with them, have a proper conversation. Assure them that they can tell you anything without the fear of judgment. And stay true to your word.
Help them work on their problems at the root level, instead of trying to find a solution for superficial issues. It may seem like you have solved the problem, but it will crop up again if you haven’t attacked its roots.
Let them have some alone time.
There are some things a child needs to figure out on his own. There are some battles that they have to fight by themselves. Whenever they are in a bad mood, sometimes introspection is the best solution.
They just need to focus inwards and see what all the mess is about. And it is not going to be possible if someone is with them 24*7. There are some trips that a person has to take on his own. Introspection is one of them.
Also, it is not necessary that your child will want to be with you all the time. It is not because they have a problem with you, but because they want to enjoy their own company. They need to be connected to their inner-self. Let them have some time for themselves, and it will make them human again.
Accept that they will have their own challenges.
As children grow up, their life starts shaping away from you. They will enter a world where they will have to survive on their own. This world comes with its own tensions and demands. You cannot expect them to be happy and bubbly all the time.
A bad mood is a way for them to express their emotions. It is okay if such episodes happen once in a while. It is healthy even. There is no cause for alarm if such things happen occasionally.
Don’t stress out over trivial issues and blow it out of proportion. However, if it is becoming a behavioral trait, then you can go ahead and fret over it.
These are some simple everyday ways in which you can improve your child’s behavior and mood without letting it take a toll on you. You are not going to be successful in a day. Even these simple ways are going to take time to show effect. Have patience.