Who is Right, You, or Your Parents?

Who is Right, You, or Your Parents?

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As a former child (now adult), I totally support team ‘children.’ There is no question about it. It is our life, and we should be able to live it the way we want. We are not babies anymore. We can decide what we need now. There is no place for so many restrictions in our life. I mean, let us look at some of the things they keep doing.

Keep calling a thousand times.

It hasn’t been two minutes since you left the house, and the calls start.‘Where are you?’ ‘When will you come home?’ ‘who is with you?’ ‘Why so late?’ the list does not end.

I believe that if we spend less time with them on the phone, we may actually be able to meet the deadline. So, it is 2 points for team children.

But, let us take a moment here to think. Why do our parents keep doing it? There has to be some reason behind it, right? Well, it starts off with concern.

They want to know if you are safe. But, if we miss a call even by accident, the panic mode is triggered. They start thinking about all kinds of stuff and start worrying. I know it is too much sometimes, but it is not like they come with a regulator. Sometimes, they have trouble controlling it, but they mean well.

So, I think we should give at least give 1 point to team parents.

Always sitting on our backs.

We do not need people to remind us continually that we need to do something. They take one thing and keep nagging us to do it. It is really frustrating. If you are doing anything other than what they are saying, you don’t care about what they say.

And then we are taken on a guilt trip to how-it-is-our-fault-that-we raised-you-wrong town. It turns out to be a surprise detour to I-am-being-sarcastic-and-it-is-totally-your-fault city.

There are times when we are actually about to do it but don’t. Why? Just because they told you to keep doing it. So, we add another two points to team children. 

But, when no one is nagging us, and we are taking the responsibility, we tend to leave everything for the last minute. And then it is a mad dash to get everything done on time.

Our parents will stop nagging us when they see that the work is already complete. They will also be happy, and you will also get the proper time to do things right. But gradually, we need to take more responsibility so that they don’t find a reason to sit on our backs continually.

So, I believe that it is not entirely their fault that they have to nag. So, we need to give them a point here too. 

You need to score marks.

While marks are not enough to decide your future, they are not completely useless. See, the concept of the test is simple. You are examined based on what you have learned so far. And then we come to know where we stand and what we have to improve.

I agree that most tests have become more about marks and less about how much you have understood. But you can do what is right for you. You can take the tests with a different approach.

It will take time to get used to learning for the sake of learning and not for scoring marks, but you will get there.

Include your parents in the plan too. Put forth your points confidently and go for it. It is not going to be easy for them, and they will keep hesitating until they see results. All you have to do meanwhile is focus on yourself and achieve your targets. So, I think both the teams get one point each. 

You are doing it wrong.

Whenever we are about to do something, our parents are ready with the list of all the reasons why you shouldn’t do it, or how to do it.

We rarely (and I mean never) get a chance to try out something new. We need to have a chance to try and see what we can do on our own. We need them to back off. So, two points to team children. 

Our parents have more experience. They have been in similar situations as us. And, they don’t want us to make the same mistakes that they may have done. Or they want you to do it in a way that they know it works, because it worked for them.

Either way, they don’t want you to go through the struggle they have. I see concern for us here. So, we need to give them a point here too.

Making us do chores

Another major source of fighting is our parents asking us to do some tasks at home. It hurts when I say this (type this), they may not be wrong here. When we are adults, we are going to have to do all of it by ourselves. Our independence comes at a price.

The price that you will have to contribute to the housework as well as look after yourself. It is a tough pill to swallow, but I believe we can do it. So, two points to team parents here. 

But our parents indeed find the most inconvenient time for us to do chores. They think that just because we are on our phones, we need to get off them and do something worthwhile. Can’t we just have some time off for ourselves? Instead, what they can do is assign a chore to us and give us a deadline.

And we need to respect it. And how and when we do the work before the deadline is totally up to us. One point for team children because we need to be given time to finish what we are doing and get started with what they have asked us to do.

You don’t spend time with us.

I am afraid they may have a point here. As a family, we need to have a connection with our parents. If they don’t know what we are up to, how will they understand us? Until and unless they are a part of your life, even if it is a silent role, they cannot stop worrying about you.

Give them some time. And what you need to remember is that don’t go and talk to them when they are in the middle of something important. They won’t be able to respond. Find the time suitable for both of you to talk. Needless to say, they get two points here.  

Now, the situation is easily reversible. There are times when you need them to hear you out and they are unavailable. Or, they come to spend time with you just when you got yourself busy with something important for you, but maybe not for them. So, one point to team children too. 

It is a result of time! Let’s see who won. Team children stand strong with a total of ten points. And team parents are at…. 10 points too! What? What does it mean? It means that both teams are equally right on their side. All they need is someone to take the first step in understanding the other one. Now, they are adults and set in their way. How about we start with us and see where it takes us?

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