Whether because of not getting a snack they want or fighting with a friend during a game, even young children get angry at times. Although anger itself isn’t good or bad, the way a child deals with anger can be constructive or destructive. As a parent, it might be pretty intriguing to send a child to their room to act out in anger or to yell at them to stop being mad. Though it’s more beneficial for your child if you help them evolve the ability to cope well with anger.
Anger has two sides just like a coin. It does not always have to be bad, sometimes it is good.
Anger can be a good thing as sometimes it can give you the energy to get something done or to stand up for what you believe in. Feeling angry and managing your anger in an assertive and healthy way can also give you the opportunity to set a solid example for your children. For example, when you take a few deep breaths or walk away rather than collapsing and blasting, you show your children how to behave.
But anger can be negative (as most of us see it), especially if it happens a lot or it gets out of control. Losing your temper when you’re mad can make any situation worse and thus head to conflict with others. When you don’t give yourself time to calm down, you might say or do some things that can’t be taken back.
How you manage your anger definitely is going to be absorbed by your child. So, try to set a good example.
Firstly, you need to know why your kid is showing so much anger?
There is a possibility that the reason might be you. Anger is a human emotion, and it’s pretty normal to feel angry when you’re a parent. All parents feel angry at some platforms.
Being around a lot of disputes, disagreements, and yelling is frightening for children. It would be much easier to deal with children’s anger if we get rid of this behavior of our own. Do remember that our goal is not to suppress or destroy angry feelings in children or in ourselves but rather to accept the emotions and to help channel and direct them to the constructive ends.
Below are certain suggestions that might help you in raising an angry child:
- Tell them to visualize yourself in another person’s situation
Keep reminding your child that people are unique. Not everyone’s expectations and life experiences are universally shared. People from different families have different customs or living standards and may find yours unfamiliar, even rude sometimes. Children belonging to various ages have various abilities and this creates differences in their level of emotional maturity. Others don’t always share your opinions. So, it’s become crucial to teach your child that they just can’t yell or scream at others.
- Work on communication skills
Don’t try to jump to conclusions. You need to learn how to express what you want appropriately. Keep everything at a halt and listen to what others are saying. Try to avoid the temptation to get defensive. Avoid name-calling as far as possible. Keep it cool.
Talk about the source of the anger. In children, frustration and disappointment may bring on angry outbursts. Look for the underlying concern. The source may be some skill that is not mastered or facing difficulty in school. There might be a possibility of issues related to self-esteem or problems getting along with peers. Anger and sadness can be tangled in childhood. Once the issue is identified, it is preferably more easy to provide help, possibly through getting help in school, explaining how things work, or guiding them through some social skills.
- Encourage empathy
Encourage your child to see things from another person’s point of view. We often get disillusioned by the age but in reality, even young children can understand when someone else feels sad or angry. If they don’t want to let out their feelings, try inserting their favorite character from a book into the story. Ask questions to prompt your child to see another side of the issue so that they can relate it to the situation. How would that character feel and react?
Remind them to forgive themselves as well as others. Even good people sometimes behave a bit oddly. Losing your temper once doesn’t always mean you can’t be changed. Children especially need to believe that they will not be forever judged for their actions and thus learn that they need to forgive themselves.
- Provide them with some comfort and affection
Let your little one know that you genuinely care about their situation and feelings. Toddlers can be comforted by your physical presence as older kids who generally are facing a frustrating situation, can be comforted by a hug. And never underestimate the power of physical contacts such as hugs, a little pat on the back or even kisses, to make a child feel loved and accepted.
- Be a role model
Children mimic adults. So the way you handle your own anger and frustration is sure to affect your child. Model positive coping skills like doing something that calms you or getting away from a frustrating situation and your child is likely to do the same.
Praise good behavior. Let your child know that you notice when she deals with her anger in a positive way.
You should be aware of your own anger. Studies proved that parental emotions influence their children. If you think you don’t exhibit enough anger, pay attention to how many times you yell or exhibit anger (maybe keep a journal), noticing what triggers it and how you react is really essential.
While anger is a regular part of life, it is sometimes indicative of a further serious issue. Anger plunges outside the developmental norm. For example, if a teacher reports your child’s anger is out of control, or if it’s impacting your child’s life, it is time to seek help.
Sometimes all they need is you. How you maintain the surrounding is what causes how they behave. Always remember one mantra, Happy Parents=Happy Kids!
And yes it still applies, so forget all your worries and maintain a positive and healthy environment not only for your kids but also for yourself.